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Dark Valley

October 9, 2017

 

Happy Monday! Hope you're having a blessed start to the week!

 

So this blog post is going to be a bit different, in fact this post is going to be a outlet more than anything - this past few weeks I haven't been okay and that's me being honest. I have been trying to tell myself I am okay and I am not.

 

Now me being a "motivational" speaker people always assume I am always motivated, positive, happy, joyful and full of sugar, sweets and cupcakes, no..that's not the case. I go through life too. I am writing this because I am one person that doesn't know how to be honest with my feelings, I talked about my issue with opening up to others in my previous post Daddy Issues so I am going to use this blog post to be honest with how I am feeling because I don't open up to others and I hope this will set someone else free too because I am not the only one feeling it

 

 

 I am not depressed right now, I know what depression is, I have been there before and I know that this isn't depression but I know this isn't happiness either. I feel me being a christian as well, sometimes christians have made me adapt the whole smile in their face and say God is good even though you're crying constantly and feeling like everything is going wrong?

I am being honest about my feelings because I sometimes can be a hypocrite, I sometimes go on social media after crying to my best friend on the phone about what I am going through pretending my life is all happy days when it's not? Why have we fallen into the trap of social media? We subconsciously think because someone is posting happy pictures and getting hundreds of likes they're not going through something? no. Reality is we are all going through something and that's okay.  I love being there for people and being able to help others but let me be honest, If I am not in a place of catering to myself, I definitely can't be in a place to cater to others.

 

 

God has placed me in a season of being honest, honesty isn't about sharing things you want to say but sharing things you have to say. I have to be honest and admit I am not okay right now and I feel a lot of us put ourselves in positions where we are not okay and don't admit it, it's toxic.You know you can get urine tract infection by keeping in urine too long? Don't hold your pain in, share it. As God has placed me in a season of being honest with my past and my pains, he's also allowing me to be in a place of honesty with him and also myself. Sometimes the hardest person to tell you're not okay is actually yourself because society has made me believe when you're not okay, you're weak but I know I am strong because it's through my tribulations, tests and setbacks that I will grow and find strength to stand up..

 

 

So even though I am not standing up straight right now and I have been knocked down, I will be standing up soon and it's going to take a lot of strength for me to get back up but my first step is to accept I am down first before I can start the process of climbing up..

 

So this is to anyone who's like me right now that's not okay and is coming to terms with it.

 

1 - it's okay not to be okay.

2 - it too shall pass

3 - opening up to others may be the hardest thing but it's always the best thing

4 - don't listen to sad music (it doesn't help at all)

5 - pray ( I don't say this because I am Christian, I say this because it works)

 

 

Before any testimony, there's always a test and I want you to understand that walking through the valley of death isn't a bad thing, as long as you're walking.. that's all that matters. Carry on walking! everything get's better in the end and if it's not better, it's not the end..

 

I'm taking time to myself to heal, be real and be honest about my feelings

I am looking to leave the country for a bit.. so if I don't post as much, tweet as much, snap as much...It's because I am not okay.

 

 

P.S - just because someone is smiling doesn't mean they're okay - go out of your way to check on your loved ones, communication is key and loving them through the trials is even a greater key!

I wouldn't be able to go through what I am going through if I didn't have the right people to talking to me and loving me.

 

Thanks for reading and I hope this helps someone too.

 

 

(By the way succss isn't measured by how much money you make but how much peace you have) praying you have a successful week..

God bless,

 

Hayley x

 

 

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